By: Dr. Ibrahim Abdul-Rahman Rajab , Professor of Social Service at King Saud University

Many parents mistakenly think that the incomplete growth of the mental abilities of a child on birth indicates that it has no cognition or a �mind� thus they behave freely in the presence of a child as if he/she is not present. In other words, the parents behave without any consideration to their kids who may be affected by their parents� bad behaviors. On the contrary of that, one of the modern theory in psychology has based its hypothesis during a whole century on the basis that the psychological growth of a person is affected basically by the experiences he/she passes during the first five years of his/her age. Though we do not accept all the assumptions of this theory, we are indeed interested in confirming that all the emotional and mental experiences a child may pass affect to a great extent his/her psychological growth and social behaviors.

Prof. Herbert Benson, one of the senior professors of medicine at Harvard University, has confirmed that all the modern studies carried out on the brain functions have proved that the experiences and sensual perceptions a person may pass leave unforgettable effects on the brain functions, or, in his on words, leave for ever �signatures� on the neural nets of the brain. In this regard, he adds that each action of remembering an experience or instance adds a neural �signature� supporting what has previously recorded by the experience.

These results require us to be at a full attention to any experience we and our kids may pass if we are pursuing to lead a life free from psychological and social disorders (By the way, the author warns us against the negligence of watching the fantasy scenes related to violence or sex or watching the aimless troublesome scenes due to the permanent effects of these scenes on the mind and the behavioral and psychological lives in general).

Accordingly, we can clearly conclude that making a child in his early years experience the emotional and sensual perceptions related to the unhealthy behaviors of the smoker mothers means that a child�s brain would record a neural � signature� on his/her mind and emotions. Though these experiences are shocking bad ones and responded at first by a child in disgusting and uneasiness, the repetition of the experience of smoking before a child leads to be a normal and usual one a child, finally, finds no wrong in addicting to it in the future.

A smoker mother may think that she could �justify� her harmful behavior in the future to a child after he/she matures enough to understand her pretexts. How impossible. What is happened usually is that she would find herself before a highly complicated situation. When a child asks her directly about what she does, or when he/she imitates innocently all bad behaviors originated from the mother, she would be bitterly embarrassed regardless her ability to make her explanations persuasive. Here, a smoker mother is divided between her addiction to smoking and the desire to appear in a good and acceptable look, forbidding the kids from imitating the bad actins and habits. She may worsen the matters on tying to convince her child that she tries to give up such a bad habit yet she, sadly, could not. In this situation, a child may take a passive impression about the mother, regarding her so weak and incapable to control herself. Given that the prediction of the human behavior is terribly complicated and difficult, and to avoid the determinism theory in explaining the human psyche, it is important here to refer to another scenario of reaction by which a child may respond to his/ her smoker mother. On seeing the bad side effects of the smoking habit, like the weakness of will and the unpersuasive excuses, a child may hates this habit, paying no respect at all to his/her mother for addicting to it. The matter may get worsened by a series of questions and suspicions about all the orders and guidelines issued by a smoker mother. Here, a child might lose one of the basic resources of guiding and socializations, suffering in the long run from the psychological disorders, alienation and the absence of values. It is a dangerous scenario that is not less destructive than the first one.

Thus, one, whether a father or mother, should fear Allah for the sake of our kids and ourselves. We must make a far distant between the kids and the supporters of the criminal effects produced by the commercial ads still promoting in some countries, directly and indirectly, the destructive habit of smoking. Additionally, we must put a far distance between our kids and the bad companions who may passively affect our beloved children. By this, we can protect our kids from the cigarettes firms and the bad companions.
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