as Defined in the Qur'an and Sunnah
By: Dr. Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimi
Translated by Nasiruddin Al-Khattab
Published by International Islamic Publishing House

At a time when Muslim women are being increasingly attracted by "feminist theories" and "women's studies," this book serves as a timely reminder that the unique and authentic sources of Islam have always spoken of the rights of women and recognized women as full partners in the human venture of history. The translation of this book into English will render this valuable information more readily accessible to Muslims whose mother-tongue is not Arabic.
Husbands, fathers, brothers and sons will also benefit from reading this book. Studied in conjunction with the author's Ideal Muslim: the Islamic personality as defined by the Qur'an and Sunnah, it will enable both men and women to have a deeper insight into the complementary roles of men and women and the harmony between the genders envisaged by Islam.
May Allah (SWT) reward the author for his efforts to educate the Muslims, men and women alike, about their religion; may He cause this book to be a source of beneficial instruction to English-speaking Muslims; and may He (SWT) guide us and keep us on the Straight Path.
It a comprehensive and informative book containing ten chapters, a conclusion and a glossary.
The contents and topics of the book as shown in the titles of its 10 chapters are:
Chapter 1: The Muslim Woman and Her Rabb.
Chapter 2: The Muslim Woman and Her Own Self.
Chapter 3: The Muslim Woman and Her Parents.
Chapter 4: The Muslim Women and Her Husband.
Chapter 5: The Muslim Woman and Her Children.
Chapter6: The Muslim Woman and Her Sons and Daughters-In-Law.
Chapter 7: The Muslim Woman and Her Relatives.
Chapter 8: The Muslim Woman And Her Neighbours.
Chapter9: The Muslim Woman and Her Friends and Sisters in Islam.
Chapter10: The Muslim Woman and Her Community/Society.
Chapter 1: The Muslim Woman and Her Rabb
This chapter deals on of the most significant matters related to the spiritual side of the a Muslim woman- the relationship with Allah. The author tackles this crucial side from many perspectives. Here, we are going to quote some of these perspectives as expressed by the author's words:
The Believing Woman is Alert
One of the most prominent distinguishing features of the Muslim woman is her deep faith in Allah (SWT), and her sincere conviction that whatever happens in this universe, and whatever fate befalls human beings, only happens through the will and decree of Allah (SWT); whatever befalls a person could not have been avoided, and whatever does not happen to a person could not have been made to happen. A person has no choice in this life but to strive towards the right path and to do good deeds - acts of worship and other acts - by whatever means one can, putting all his trust in Allah (SWT), submitting to His will, and believing that he is always in need of Allah's (SWT) help and support.
The story of Hajar offers the Muslim woman the most marvellous example of deep faith in Allah (SWT) and sincere trust in Him. Ibrahim `May peace be upon him' (PBUH) left her at the Ka`bah in Makkah, above the well of Zamzam, at a time when there were no people and no water in the place. Hajar had no-one with her except her infant son Isma`il. She asked Ibrahim, calmly and with no trace of panic: "Has Allah (SWT) commanded you to do this, O Ibrahim?" Ibrahim (PBUH) said, "Yes." Her response reflected her acceptance and optimism: "Then He is not going to abandon us." Reported by Bukhari in Kitab al-Anbiya.
Here was an extremely difficult situation: a man left his wife and infant son in a barren land, where there were no plants, no water, and no people, and went back to the distant land of Palestine. He left nothing with her but a sack of dates and a skin filled with water. Were it not for the deep faith and trust in Allah (SWT) that filled Hajar's heart, she would not have been able to cope with such a difficult situation; she would have collapsed straight away, and would not have become the woman whose name is forever remembered night and day by those who perform hajj and `umrah at the house of Allah (SWT), every time they drink the pure water of Zamzam, and run between the mounts of Safa' and Marwah, as Hajar did on that most trying day.

She May Attend the Jama`ah (Congregational)
Prayer in the Mosque
Islam has excused women from the obligation to attend the jama`ah prayer in the mosque, but at the same time, they are permitted to go out of the house to attend jama`ah on condition that they dress up well enough not to cause any temptation. Indeed, the first Muslim women did go out and pray in the mosque behind the Prophet (PBUH).
`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) said:
"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) used to pray fajr, and the believing women would pray with him, wrapped up in their outer garments; then they would go back to their homes, and nobody would recognize them.
And:
"The believing women used to attend fajr prayer with the Messenger of Allah (PBUH), wrapped up in their outer garments. Then they would go back to their homes after they had finished praying, and no one would recognize them because of the darkness.

The Prophet (PBUH) used to shorten his prayer if he heard a child crying, because he understood the concern the child's mother would be feeling. In a hadith whose authenticity is agreed upon he (PBUH) said:
"I begin the prayer, intending to make it lengthy, but then I hear a child crying, so I shorten my prayer because I know the stress facing the mother because of his crying.
Allah (SWT) showed great mercy to women by sparing them the obligation to offer the five compulsory prayers in congregation in the mosque. If He had made this obligatory, it would have placed an intolerable burden on women, and they would not have been able to fulfil it, just as we see many men failing to pray regularly in the mosque and finding themselves with no other choice but to pray wherever they are, in the workplace or in the home. The woman's heavy burden of household chores and attending to the needs of her husband and children do not permit her to leave the house five times a day; it would be impossible for her to do so. Thus the wisdom behind the limiting of compulsory attendance at the mosque to men only becomes quite clear. Her prayer at home is described as being better for her than her prayer in the mosque, but Allah (SWT) gives her the freedom of choice: she may pray at home if she wishes, or she may go out to pray in the mosque. If she asks her husband for permission to go out to the mosque, he is not allowed to stop her, as the Prophet (PBUH) stated in a number of hadith, for example:
"Do not stop your women from going to the mosque, although their houses are better for them.
"If the wife of any of you asks for permission to go to the mosque, do not stop her.
The men heeded the command of the Prophet (PBUH), and allowed their women to go to the mosque even if this was against their own wishes. There is no clearer indication of this than the hadith of `Abdullah ibn `Umar, in which he said:

"One of `Umar's wives used to pray fajr and `isha' in congregation in the mosque. She was asked, `Why do you go out (to the mosque) when you know that `Umar dislikes this and is a jealous man?' She said, `What is stopping him from forbidding me (to do so)?' He said, `The words of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH): "Do not prevent the female servants of Allah (SWT) from attending the mosques of Allah (SWT).
Chapter 2: The Muslim Woman and Her Own Self
In this chapter the author goes deeper and deeper into the analysis of the multi-sided identity of the Muslim woman. The author believes that " Islam encourages the Muslims in general to stand out among the people; the Muslim woman, in particular, is encouraged to be distinct from other people in her appearance, because this reflects well on her, and on her husband, family and children. But he explains how a Muslims woman can, and should, regard herself among other women.
Islam encourages the Muslims to stand out among people, readily distinguishable by their dress, appearance and behaviour, so that they will be a good example, worthy of the great message that they bring to humanity. According to the hadith narrated by the great Sahabi Ibn al-Hanzaliyyah, the Prophet (PBUH) told his Companions, when they were travelling to meet some brothers in faith:
"You are going to visit your brothers, so repair your saddles and make sure that you are dressed well, so that you will stand out among people like an adornment, for Allah (SWT) does not love ugliness.


The Prophet (PBUH) considered an unkempt and careless appearance, and scruffy clothes and furnishings, to be forms of ugliness, which is hated and forbidden by Islam.
Islam encourages the Muslims in general to stand out among the people; the Muslim woman, in particular, is encouraged to be distinct from other people in her appearance, because this reflects well on her, and on her husband, family and children.
The Muslim woman does not neglect her appearance, no matter how busy she is with her domestic chores and the duties of motherhood. She is keen to look good, without going to extremes, because a good appearance is an indication of how well she understands herself, her Islamic identity, and her mission in life. The outward appearance of a woman cannot be separated from her inner nature: a neat, tidy and clean exterior reflects a noble and decent inner character, both of which go to make up the character of the true Muslim woman.
The smart Muslim woman is one who strikes a balance between her external appearance and internal nature. She understands that she is composed of a body, a mind and a soul, and gives each the attention it deserves, without exaggerating in one aspect to the detriment of others. In seeking to strike the right balance, she is following the wise guidance of Islam which encourages her to do so.
How can the Muslim woman achieve this balance between her body, mind and soul?
1 - HER BODY
Moderation in food and drink
The Muslim woman takes good care of her body, promoting its good health and strength. She is active, not flabby or overweight. So she does not eat to excess; she eats just enough to maintain her health and energy. This is in accordance with the guidance of Allah (SWT) in the Qur'an:
( . . . Eat and drink: but waste not by excess, for Allah loves not the wasters.)


The Prophet (PBUH) also advised moderation in food and drink:
"There is no worse vessel for the son of Adam to fill than his stomach, but if he must fill it, the let him allow one-third for food, one-third for drink, and one-third for air.


`Umar (RAA) said:
"Beware of filling your stomachs with food and drink, for it is harmful to the body and causes sickness and laziness in performing prayers. Be moderate in both food and drink, for that is healthier for your bodies and furthest removed from extravagance. Allah (SWT) will hate the fat man (one who revels in a life of luxury), and a man will not be condemned until he favours his desires over his religion.
The Muslim woman also steers clear of drugs and stimulants, especially those which are clearly known to be haram, and she avoids the bad habits that many women have fallen into in societies that have deviated from the guidance of Allah (SWT) and His Messenger, such as staying up late at night to waste time in idle pursuits. She goes to sleep early and gets up early to start the day's activities with energy and enthusiasm. She does not weaken her energy with late nights and bad habits; she is always active and efficient, so that her household chores do not exhaust her and she can meet her targets.
She understands that a strong believer is more loved by Allah (SWT) than a weak believer, as the Prophet (PBUH) taught, so she always seeks to strengthen her body by means of a healthy lifestyle.
Good Appearance
It is no surprise that the Muslim woman is concerned with her clothes and appearance, without going to extremes or making a wanton display of herself. She presents a pleasing appearance to her husband, children, mahram relatives and other Muslim women, and people feel comfortable with her. She does not put them off with an ugly or untidy appearance and she always checks herself and takes care of herself, in accordance with the teachings of Islam, which asks its followers to look good in ways that are permitted.
In his commentary on the ayah:
( Say: Who has forbidden the beautiful [gifts] of Allah, which He has produced for His servants, and the things, cleans and pure, [which He has provided] for sustenance? . . .) (Qur'an 7:32)
Al-Qurtubi said: "Makhul reported from `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her): `A group of the Companions of the Prophet (PBUH) were waiting at the door for him, so he prepared to go out to meet them. There was a vessel of water in the house, and he peered into it, smoothing his beard and his hair. (`A'ishah said) I asked him, "O Messenger of Allah, even you do this?" He said, "Yes, when a man goes out to meet his brothers, let him prepare himself properly, for Allah (SWT) is beautiful and loves beauty.


The Muslim does all of this in accordance with the Islamic ideal of moderation, avoiding the extremes of either exaggeration or negligence:

( Those who, when they spend, are not extravagant and not niggardly, but hold a just [balance] between those [extremes].)


Islam wants its followers, and especially its advocates (da`is), to stand out in gatherings in an attractive fashion, not to appear unsightly or unbearable. Neglecting one's appearance to the extent of being offensive to one's companions in the name of asceticism and humility is not part of Islam. The Prophet (PBUH), who was the epitome of asceticism and humility, used to dress in decent clothes and present a pleasant appearance to his family and companions. He regarded dressing well and looking good to be a demonstration of the Blessings of Allah (SWT):
"Allah (SWT) loves to see the signs His gifts on His servant."18


Ibn Sa`d reports in al-Tabaqat (4/346) that Jundub ibn Makith (RAA) said:
"Whenever a delegation came to meet the Messenger of Allah (PBUH), he would wear his best clothes and order his leading Companions to do likewise. I saw the Prophet (PBUH) on the day that the delegation of Kindah came to meet him; he was wearing a Yemeni garment, and Abu Bakr and `Umar were dressed similarly."


Ibn al-Mubarak, Tabarani, al-Hakim, al-Bayhaqi and others report that `Umar (RAA) said:
"I saw the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) ask for a new garment. He put it on, and when it reached his knees he said, `Praise be to Allah (SWT), Who has given me clothes with which to cover myself and make myself look beautiful in this life.


So long as this taking care of one's outward appearance does not go to extremes, then it is part of the beauty that Allah (SWT) has allowed for His servants and encouraged them to adopt:
( O children of Adam! Wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer: eat and drink: but waste not by excess, for Allah loves not the wasters.
Say, Who has forbidden the beautiful [gifts] of Allah, which He has produced for His servants, and the things, clean and pure, [which He has provided] for sustenance? Say: They are, in the life of this world, for those who believe, [and] purely for them on the Day of Judgement. Thus do We explain the Signs in detail for those who understand.)

Muslim reports from Ibn Mas`ud (RAA) that the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"No-one who has even an atom's-weight of pride in his heart will enter Paradise." A man asked him, "What if a man likes his clothes and shoes to look good?" (Meaning, is this counted as pride?) The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Allah (SWT) is beautiful and loves beauty. Pride means denying the truth and looking down on other people.


This is the understanding adopted by the Sahabah and those who followed them sincerely. Therefore Imam Abu Hanifah (RAA) always took care to dress well and to ensure that he smelled clean and fresh, and urged others to do likewise. One day he met a man who used to attend his circle, who was dressed in scruffy clothes. He took him to one side and offered him a thousand dirhams with which to smarten himself up. The man told him, "I have money; I do not need this." Abu Hanifah admonished him: "Have you not heard the hadith, `Allah (SWT) loves to see the signs of His gifts on His servant'? So you have to change yourself, and not appear offensive to your friend."
Chapter 3: The Muslim Woman and Her Parents
One of the main distinguishing characteristics of the true Muslim woman is her respectful and kind treatment of her parents. Islam encourages respect towards and kind treatment of parents in many definitive texts of the Qur'an and Sunnah; any Muslim woman who reads these texts has no choice but to adhere to their teachings and treat her parents with kindness and respect, no matter what the circumstances or the state of the relationship between daughter and parents.
From her reading of the Qur'an, the Muslim woman understands the high status to which Allah (SWT) has raised parents, and that it is a status which mankind has never known except in Islam, which has placed respect for parents just one step below belief in Allah (SWT) and true worship of Him. Many ayat of the Qur'an describe pleasing one's parents as coming second only to pleasing Allah (SWT), and confirm that treating parents well is the best of good deeds after having faith in Allah (SWT).
( Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good, to parents . . .)

Muslim woman whose heart has been illuminated with the light of Qur'anic guidance is always receptive and responsive to this divine instruction, which she reads in the ayat that enjoin good treatment of parents. So her kindness and respect towards them will increase, and she will be even more devoted to serving them. She will do her utmost to please them, even if she has a husband, house, children and other responsibilities of her own:
( Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good - to parents . . .)

The story of the devoted worshipper Jurayj, which was told by the Prophet (PBUH), is a vivid illustration of the importance of respecting one's parents and being quick to obey them. One day his mother called him whilst he was praying, and he wondered, "My Lord, my mother or my prayer?" He chose to continue his prayer (rather than answering his mother). She called him a second time, but he continued praying and did not answer her. Then she called him a third time, and when he did not respond she prayed to Allah (SWT) not to let him die until he had seen the face of a prostitute. There was a prostitute in that locality who had committed adultery with a shepherd and become pregnant. When she realised that she was with child, the shepherd told her: "If you are asked about the father of the baby, say it is Jurayj, the devoted worshipper." This is what she said, so the people went and destroyed the place where he used to pray. The ruler brought him to the public square, and on the way Jurayj remembered his mother's prayer and smiled. When he was brought forth to be punished, he asked for permission to pray two rak`ahs, then he asked for the infant to be brought forth and whispered in his ear, "Who is your father?" The infant said, "My father is so-and-so, the shepherd."4 The people exclaimed "La ilaha illa-Allah" and "Allahu akbar!" They told Jurayj, "We will rebuild your prayer-place with silver and gold!" He said, "No, just rebuild it as it was, with bricks and mortar." Concerning this story, which is reported by al Bukhari, the Prophet (PBUH) said: "If Jurayj had sound knowledge, he would have known that answering his mother was more important than continuing his prayer."5 Hence the fuqaha' suggested that if one is praying a nafil prayer and one of one's parents calls one, one is obliged to stop one's prayer and answer them.

Chapter 4: The Muslim Women and Her Husband
How can a woman be the best comfort in this world? How can she be a successful woman, true to her own femininity, and honoured and loved? This the core topic of this vital chapter.
In Islam, marriage is a blessed contract between a man and a woman, in which each becomes "permitted" to the other, and they begin the long journey of life in a spirit of love, co-operation, harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds tranquillity, contentment and comfort in the company of the other. The Qur'an has described this relationship between men and women, which brings love, harmony, trust and compassion, in the most moving and eloquent terms:
( And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts] . . .)
One of the ways in which Islam has honoured woman is by giving her the right to choose her husband. Her parents have no right to force her to marry someone she dislikes. The Muslim woman knows this right, but she does not reject the advice and guidance of her parents when a potential suitor comes along, because they have her best interests at heart, and they have more experience of life and people. At the same time, she does not forego this right because of her father's wishes that may make him force his daughter into a marriage with someone she dislikes.
There are many texts that support the woman in this sensitive issue, for example the report quoted by Imam Bukhari from al-Khansa' bint Khidam:
"My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah (PBUH). He said to me: `Accept what your father has arranged.' I said, `I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.' He said, `Then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.' I said, `I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter's matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them).

At first, the Prophet (PBUH) told al-Khansa' to obey her father, and this is as it should be, because the concern of fathers for their daughters' well-being is well-known. But when he realized that her father wanted to force her into a marriage she did not want, he gave her the freedom to choose, and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into an unwanted marriage.
Islam does not want to impose an unbearable burden on women by forcing them to marry a man they dislike, because it wants marriages to be successful, based on compatibility between the partners; there should be common ground between them in terms of physical looks, attitudes, habits, inclinations and aspirations. If something goes wrong, and the woman feels that she cannot love her husband sincerely, and fears that she may commit the sin of disobeying and opposing this husband whom she does not love, then she may ask for a divorce. This is confirmed by the report in which the wife of Thabit ibn Qays ibn Shammas, Jamilah the sister of `Abdullah ibn Ubayy, came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said: "O Messenger of Allah, I have nothing against Thabit ibn Qays as regards his religion or his behaviour, but I hate to commit any act of kufr when I am a Muslim. The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Will you give his garden back to him?" - her mahr had been a garden. She said, "Yes." So the Messenger of Allah sent word to him: "Take back your garden, and give her one pronouncement of divorce.
According to a report given by Bukhari from Ibn `Abbas, she said, "I do not blame Thabit for anything with regard to his religion or his behaviour, but I do not like him."

Islam has protected woman's pride and humanity, and has respected her wishes with regard to the choice of a husband with whom she will spend the rest of her life. It is not acceptable for anyone, no matter who he is, to force a woman into a marriage with a man she does not like.
There is no clearer indication of this than the story of Barirah, an Ethiopian slave-girl who belonged to `Utbah ibn Abu Lahab, who forced her to marry another slave whose name was Mughith. She would never have accepted him as a husband if she had been in control of her own affairs. `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) took pity on her, so she bought her and set her free. Then this young woman felt that she was free and in control of her own affairs, and that she could take a decision about her marriage. She asked her husband for a divorce. Her husband used to follow her, weeping, whilst she rejected him. Bukhari quotes Ibn `Abbas describing this freed woman who insisted on the annulment of her marriage to someone she did not love; the big-hearted Prophet (PBUH) commented on this moving sight, and sought to intervene.
Ibn `Abbas said:
"Barirah's husband was a slave, who was known as Mughith. I can almost see him, running after her and crying, with tears running down onto his beard. The Prophet (PBUH) said to `Abbas, `O `Abbas, do you not find it strange, how much Mugith loves Barirah, and how much Barirah hates Mughith?' The Prophet (PBUH) said (to Barirah), `Why do you not go back to him?' She said, `O Messenger of Allah, are you commanding me to do so?' He said, `I am merely trying to intervene on his behalf.' She said, `I have no need of him.

The Prophet (PBUH) was deeply moved by this display of human emotion: deep and overwhelming love on the part of the husband, and equally powerful hatred on the part of the wife. He could not help but remind the wife, and ask her why she did not go back to him, as he was her husband and the father of her child. This believing woman asked him, whether he was ordering her to do so: was this a command, a binding obligation? The Prophet (PBUH), this great law-giver and educator, replied that he was merely trying to intercede and bring about reconciliation if possible; he was not trying to force anybody to do something they did not wish to.
Let those stubborn, hard-hearted fathers who oppress their own daughters listen to the teaching of the Prophet (PBUH)!
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of her religion has wise and correct standards when it comes to choosing a husband. She does not concern herself just with good looks, high status, a luxurious lifestyle or any of the other things that usually attract women. She looks into his level of religious commitment and his attitude and behaviour, because these are the pillars of a successful marriage, and the best features of a husband. Islamic teaching indicates the importance of these qualities in a potential husband, as Islam obliges a woman to accept the proposal of anyone who has these qualities, lest fitnah and corruption become widespread in society:
"If there comes to you one with whose religion and attitude you are satisfied, then give your daughter to him in marriage, for if you do not do so, fitnah anmischief will become widespread on earth."


Just as the true Muslim young man will not be attracted to the pretty girls who have grown up in a bad environment, so the Muslim young woman who is guided by her religion will not be attracted to stupid "play-boy" types, no matter how handsome they may be. Rather she will be attracted to the serious, educated, believing man who is clean-living and pure of heart, whose behaviour is good and whose understanding of religion is sound. No-one is a suitable partner for the good, believing woman except a good, believing man; and no-one is a suitable partner for the wayward, immoral woman but a wayward, immoral man, as Allah (SWT) has said:

( Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure, and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity . . .)


Chapter 5: The Muslim Woman and Her Children
Undoubtedly children are a source of great joy and delight; they make life sweet, bring more rizq into a family's life and give hope. A father sees his children as a future source of help and support, as well as representing an increase in numbers and perpetuation of the family. A mother sees her children as a source of hope, consolation and joy in life, and as hope for the future. All of these hopes rest on the good upbringing of the children and giving them a sound preparation for life, so that they will become active and constructive elements in society, a source of goodness for their parents, community and society as a whole. Then they will be as (SWT) described them:
( Wealth and sons are allurements of the life of this world . . .)
The Muslim woman never forgets that the mother's responsibility in bringing up the children and forming their characters is greater than that of the father, because children tend to be closer to their mother and spend more time with her; she knows all about their behavioural, emotional and intellectual development during their childhood and the difficult years of adolescence.
Muslim woman have always understood their responsibility in raising their children, and they have a brilliant record in producing and influencing great men, and instilling noble values in their hearts. There is no greater proof of that than the fact that intelligent and brilliant women have produced more noble sons than have intelligent and brilliant men, so much so that you can hardly find any among the great men of our ummah who have controlled the course of events in history who is not indebted to his mother.
The Muslim woman tries hard to instil in her children's hearts the best qualities, such as loving others, upholding the ties of kinship, caring for the weak, respecting elders, showing compassion to little ones, deriving satisfaction from doing good, being sincere in word and deed, keeping promises, judging fairly, and all other good and praiseworthy characteristics.
Chapter 7: The Muslim Woman and Her Relatives
The Muslim woman who is guided by the teachings of her religion never forgets that her relatives have rights over her, and that she is required to uphold the ties of kinship and to treat them well. The relatives (in Arabic arham, which literally means "wombs") are those to whom a person is linked by ties of blood, whether they are his heirs or not.
Islamic view of kinship ties
Islam has recognized the ties of kinship in a way that is unparalleled in other religions or "isms"; it enjoins Muslims to uphold the ties of kinship and condemns the one who breaks this tie.
There is no greater proof of the emphasis placed by Islam on the ties of kinship than the vivid picture painted by the Prophet (PBUH), who described kinship (rahm) as standing in the vast arena of creation and seeking refuge with Allah (SWT) from being cut off. Allah (SWT) answers its prayer, taking care of those who maintain the ties of kinship, and cutting off those who cut off these ties. This is seen in the sahih hadith narrated by Abu Hurayrah who said:
"The Prophet (PBUH) said: `Allah (SWT) created the universe, and when He had finished, kinship (rahm) stood up and said, "This is the standing up of one who seeks Your protection from being cut off." Allah (SWT) said, "Yes, would it please you if I were to take care of those who take care of you and cut off those who cut you off?" It said, "Of course." Allah (SWT) said, "Then your prayer is granted."' Then the Prophet (PBUH) said, `Recite, if you wish: (Then, is it to be expected of you, if you were put in authority, that you will do mischief, in the land, and break your ties of kith and kin? Such are the men whom Allah has cursed for He has made them deaf and blinded their sight.).

Hence kind treatment of relatives comes one degree below kind treatment of parents on the scale of human relationships as defined by the Qur'an; from there, kindness and respect extends to encompass all those needy members of the greater human family. This suits human nature, which is more inclined to start with kind treatment of those who are closer; it is also in harmony with the overall Islamic system of social organization and mutual responsibility which starts with the family then is readily extended first to relatives and then to society at large, in a spirit of mercy and friendship which makes life more pleasant and beautiful for mankind.






Chapter 8: The Muslim Woman And Her Neighbours
The Muslim woman is kind and friendly
towards her neighbours
One of the attributes of the Muslim woman who understands the teachings of her religion is that she treats her neighbours well and respects them.
She adheres to the Islamic teachings regarding
good treatment of neighbours
The true Muslim woman understands the teachings of Islam which strongly urge good treatment of neighbours and gives the neighbour such a high status in the scale of human relationships, such as has never been equalled in any other religion or system before or since.
Allah (SWT) has clearly commanded the good treatment of neighbours in the Qur'an:
( Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good - to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the Companion by your side, the wayfarer [you meet], and what your right hands possess . . .)


The "neighbour who is near" is one with whom one shares ties of kinship or religion; the "neighbour who is a stranger" is one with whom one shares no such ties; and the "companion by your side" is a friend, colleague or travelling-companion.
Everyone whose home neighbours yours has the rights of a neighbour over you, even if you are not connected by kinship or religion. This honouring of the neighbour is an example of the tolerance promoted by Islam.
There are many Hadith of the Prophet (PBUH) which enjoin good treatment of neighbours in general, regardless of kinship or religious factors, and confirm the importance of the neighbourly relationship in Islam. For example:
"Jibril kept on enjoining the good treatment of neighbours to such an extent that I thought he would include neighbours as heirs.


Islam gives such a high status to neighbours that when Jibril reiterated the importance of treating them well, the Prophet (PBUH) thought that he would raise neighbours to the level of kinship and give them similar rights of inheritance.
The Prophet (PBUH) followed Jibril's urging, and encouraged Muslims to honour neighbours and treat them well. In his historical khutbah during the Farewell Pilgrimage, in which he summarized the most important points of his teachings, he did not omit to mention neighbours and emphasized their rights to such an extent that the eminent Sahabi Abu Umamah also thought that the Prophet (PBUH) would make neighbours heirs:
"I heard the Prophet (PBUH), when he was seated on his she-camel during the Farewell Pilgrimage, saying, `I enjoin you to treat your neighbours well,' and urging their good treatment so much that I thought, he is going to give them the rights of inheritance.


The Prophet (PBUH) sometimes used to stir up the emotions of the Sahabah when he encouraged them to do good deeds, so he would start by saying, "Whoever believes in Allah (SWT) and the Last Day, let him do such-and-such . . ." He would use this emotive phrase to command or encourage some good deed or desirable characteristic. Among the Hadith that use this method of conveying a message is:
"Whoever believes in Allah (SWT) and the Last Day, let him treat his neighbour well; whoever believes in Allah (SWT) and the Last Day, let him honour his guest; whoever believes in Allah (SWT) and the Last Day, let him speak good or else remain silent.


According to a report given by Bukhari, he (PBUH) said:
"Whoever believes in Allah (SWT) and the Last Day, let him not harm or annoy his neighbour . . .


Good treatment of neighbours is enjoined at the beginning of the hadith, and is identified as one of the signs and most beneficial results of belief in Allah (SWT) and the Last Day.
She likes for her neighbours what she likes for herself
The Muslim woman who is truly open to the teachings of her religion is soft-hearted, easy-going and tolerant. She is loving towards her neighbours, sensitive to everything that could disturb, annoy or offend them. She wishes them well, just as she wishes herself well, and she shares their joys and sorrows, in accordance with the teachings of the Prophet (PBUH):
"None of you truly believes until he likes for his brother what he likes for himself.


According to a report given by Muslim from Anas, the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"By the One in Whose hand is my soul, no servant truly believes until he likes for his neighbour (or he said: his brother) what he likes for himself.".


Chapter 9: The Muslim Woman and Her Friends and Sisters in Islam
She loves them as sisters for the
sake of Allah (SWT)
The way in which the true Muslim woman relates to her friends and sister in Islam is different from the way in which other women conduct their social affairs. Her relationship with her sisters is based on ta'akhi (brotherhood or sisterhood) for the sake of Allah (SWT). This love for the sake of Allah (SWT) is the highest bond that may exist between one human being and another, whether man or woman. It is the bond of faith in Allah (SWT) which Allah (SWT) established between all believers when He said:
( The Believers are but a single brotherhood . . .)


The brotherhood of faith is the strongest of bonds between hearts and minds. It comes as no surprise to see that Muslim sisters enjoy a strong, enduring relationship that is based on love for the sake of Allah (SWT), which is the noblest and purest form of love between human beings. This is a love which is untainted by any worldly interest or ulterior motive. It is the love in which Muslim men and women find the sweetness of faith:
"There are three things that whoever attains them will find the sweetness of faith: if Allah (SWT) and His Messenger are dearer to him than anyone or anything else; if he loves a person solely for the sake of Allah (SWT); and if he would hate to return to kufr after Allah (SWT) has rescued him from it, as much as he would hate to be thrown into the Fire.
The status of two who love one another
for the sake of Allah (SWT)
Many hadith describe the status of two people who love another for the sake of Allah (SWT), whether they are men or women, and describe the high position in Paradise which Allah (SWT) has prepared for them and the great honour which He will bestow upon them on the Day when mankind is resurrected to meet the Lord of the Worlds.
It is sufficient honour for those who love one another for the sake of (SWT), men and women alike, to know that their almighty Lord will take care of them on the Day of Judgement and will say: "Where are those who loved one another for My glory? Today I will shade them in My shade on the Day when there is no shade but Mine."2
Such is the magnificent honour and tremendous reward that will be bestowed upon those who truly loved one another for the sake of Allah (SWT), on that awesome Day.
Love for the sake of Allah (SWT), and not for the sake of anything else in life, is very difficult, and none can attain it except the one who is pure of heart, for whom this world and all its pleasures are as nothing in comparison with the pleasure of Allah (SWT). It is not surprising that Allah (SWT) should give them a status and blessing which is commensurate with their position in this world, above whose concerns they have risen. We see proof of this in the hadith of Mu`adh, who said that the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Allah (SWT) said: `Those who love one another for My glory will have minbars of light, and the Prophets and martyrs will wish that they had the same."3
Allah (SWT) bestows upon those who love one another for His sake a gift which is even greater than this status and blessing: that is His precious love which is very difficult to attain. This is proven by the hadith of Abu Hurayrah (RAA) in which the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"A man went to visit a brother of his in another village. Allah (SWT) sent an angel to wait for him on the road. When the man came along, the angel asked him, `Where are you headed?' He said, `I am going to visit a brother of mine who lives in this village.' The angel asked, `Have you done him any favour (for which you are now seeking repayment)?' He said, `No, I just love him for the sake of Allah (SWT).' The angel told him, `I am a messenger to you from Allah (SWT), sent to tell you that He loves you as you love your brother for His sake.
What a great love, that raises a person to a position where Allah (SWT) loves him and is pleased with him!
The Prophet (PBUH) understood the impact of this strong, pure love in building societies and nations, so he never let any occasion pass without advocating this love and commanding the Muslims to announce their love for one another, in order to open hearts and spread love and purity among the ranks of the ummah.
Anas (RAA) said that a man was with the Prophet (PBUH), when another man passed by. The first man said, "O Messenger of Allah (SWT), indeed I truly love this man." The Prophet (PBUH) asked him, "Have you let him know that?" He said, "No." The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Tell him." He caught up with him and told him, "Truly I love you for the sake of Allah (SWT)," and the man said, "May Allah (SWT) love you who loves me for His sake.
The Prophet (PBUH) used to do the same thing himself, teaching the Muslims how to build a society based on pure love and brotherhood. One day he took Mu`adh by the hand and said, "O Mu`adh, by Allah (SWT) I love you, so I advise you, O Mu`adh, never forget to recite, after every prayer, `O Allah (SWT), help me to remember You and to give thanks toYou and to worship You properly (Allahumma, a`inni `ala dhikrika wa shukrika wa husni `abadatika).
Mu`adh began to spread this pure love among the Muslims throughout the Muslim lands, telling them what he had learned from the Prophet (PBUH) about the great reward that Allah (SWT) had prepared for those who loved one another for His sake, and about His great love for them. In al-Muwatta', Imam Malik gives a report with a sahih isnad from Abu Idris al-Khulani who said:
"I entered the mosque of Damascus, where I saw a young man who had a bright smile, and I saw the people gathered around him. When they disagreed on some matter, they referred it to him, and accepted his opinion. I asked who he was, and they told me, `This is Mu`adh ibn Jabal (RAA).' Early the next day, I went to the mosque but I found that he had arrived even earlier than I. He was praying, so I waited until he had finished, then I approached him from in front, greeted him and said, `By Allah (SWT), I love you.' He asked, `For the sake of Allah (SWT)?' I said, `For the sake of Allah (SWT).' He repeated his question, `For the sake of Allah (SWT)?' And I said, `For the sake of Allah (SWT).' So he took hold of my collar, pulled me towards him and said, `I have good news for you. I heard the Prophet (PBUH) say: "Allah (SWT) says: "My love is granted to those who love one another for My sake, who visit one another for My sake, and who spend on one another for My sake.

Chapter 10: The Muslim Woman and Her Community/Society
When it comes to Islamic duties, the Muslim woman is just like a man: she has a mission in life, and so she is required to be as effective, active and social as her particular circumstances and capabilities allow, mixing with other women as much as she can and dealing with them in accordance with the worthy Islamic attitudes and behaviour that distinguish her from other women.
Wherever the Muslim woman is found, she becomes a beacon of guidance, and a positive source of correction and education, through both her words and her deeds.
The Muslim woman who has been truly guided by the Qur'an and Sunnah has a refined social personality of the highest degree, which qualifies her to undertake her duty of calling other women to Islam, opening their hearts and minds to the guidance of this great religion which elevated the status of women at a remarkably early stage in their history and furnished them with a vast range of the best of characteristics which are outlined in the Qur'an and Sunnah. Islam has made the acquisition of these characteristics a religious duty for which a person will be rewarded, and will be called to account if he or she fails to attain them. These texts succeeded in making the personality of the woman who is sincere towards Allah (SWT) into a brilliant example of the decent, chaste, polite, God-fearing, refined, sociable woman.
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of Islam stands out in every women's gathering she attends, as she demonstrates the true values of her religion and the practical application of those values by her attaining of those worthy attributes. The make-up of her distinct social character represents a huge store of those Islamic values, which can be seen in her social conduct and dealings with people. From this rich, pure source, the Muslim woman draws her own customs, habits and ways of dealing with others and she cleanses her soul and forms her own Muslim, social personality from the same source.
She has a good attitude towards others
and treats them well
The Muslim woman is of good and noble character, friendly, humble, gentle of speech and tactful. She likes others and is liked by them. By doing so, she is following the example of the Prophet (PBUH) who, as his servant Anas (RAA) reported, was "the best of people in his attitude towards others.
Anas (RAA) saw more than anyone else of the Prophet's good attitude, and witnessed such good attitudes that no-one could imagine it existed in any human being. He told us of one aspect of that noble attitude of the Prophet (PBUH):
"I served the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) for ten years, and he never said to me `Uff!' (The smallest word of contempt). If I did anything, he never said, `Why did you do that?' And if I did not do something, he never said, `Why did you not do such-and-such?
The Prophet (PBUH) was of the best character, as Allah (SWT) said:
( And you [stand] on an exalted standard of character.)

He (PBUH) repeatedly told his Sahabah of the effect a good attitude would have in forming an Islamic personality and in raising a person's status in the sight of Allah (SWT) and of other people. He (PBUH) told them:
"Among the best of you are those who have the best attitude (towards others).
"The most beloved to me and the closest to me on the Day of Resurrection will be those of you who have the best attitudes. And the most hateful to me and the furthest from me on the Day of Resurrection will be the prattlers and boasters and al-mutafayhiqun." The Sahabah said, "O Messenger of Allah (PBUH), we understand who the prattlers and boasters are, but who are al-mutafayhiqun?" He (PBUH) said, "The proud and arrogant.